Return of the Eggs

November 7, 2007 at 10:48 am | Posted in food | 13 Comments
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Hey, so — speaking of the marginally edible, it’s about time I give you guys an update on those box eggs!

And let me start by saying, oh, the things I do for this blog. Not since the horror of Speed Rabbit Pizza have I sacrificed so much for the education and amusement of my readers. But now, on to the report:

According to the box, our pre-poached treats may be eaten hot or cold — if desired cold, simply pop them out of their handy plastic bubbles. I decided to try them hot, which meant dropping them — fully plastified — into simmering water for three minutes, and then removing the packaging.

Boxed Eggs

Mmm… appetizing, no? I didn’t think so either, so I decided to give the eggs a little help: I whipped up a Mornay, threw in some leftover mushrooms, and toasted up some bread.

Boxed Eggs

That’s the sauce, and those are the eggs, in all their shiny, dimpled glory.

Boxed Eggs

To their credit, the eggs actually splodged quited satisfyingly, when broken into. I was impressed by the contrast between the firm white and the perfectly liquid yellow — well played, box eggs.

The actual eating experience, however, was a different story. The yolk was, in fact, a little too thin, a bit like slathering your food with yellow water.  The white was unpleasantly gummy — think of chewing on a pencil eraser, but less satisfying and without the rubbery taste of nostalgia.  Indeed, the whole ensemble was disconcertingly flavorless, almost as if created by someone who had seen poached eggs at some point, but never actually had one in his mouth.  In fact, it strikes me as extremely unlikely that these unfortunate globs of protein ever resided inside a chicken.

The cheesy mushrooms, however, were quite nice.  So… got any more revolting food-stuffs you’d like me to try?

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13 Comments

  1. So… the procedure for heating up a pre-poached egg is essentially identical to the procedure for poaching a fresh egg?

  2. How very strange. And I echo the previous commenter in wondering how exactly this is so much easier than just making a fresh poached egg.

    But thank you for getting back to us on this. 🙂

  3. Yes, an excellent point. But at least this way you don’t have to deal with vinegar or slotted spoons.

  4. Thanks for the update! I would opt for futzing with vinegar and slotted spoons over opening hot plastic pouches. Quality control and all that.

  5. What everyone else said. Also, I am drooling over your photo of an English fry-up in the previous post.

  6. Yucky goodness.

  7. Nothing quite like beans on toast, eh?

  8. That looks terrible.

  9. I was thinking the same thing as I was reading (about it being almost the same as making them from scratch.)
    Did they smell bad when they came out of the plastic?
    All I can say is, Ew!

  10. No, they didn’t smell like anything at all. No taste, either.

  11. Cheesy mushrooms, oh yes.
    But .. “rubbery taste of nostalgia”, just sitting here shaking my head (in amused fashion you understand) trying, trying, trying not to go where that takes me!

  12. You are indeed a brave soul. On a related note, I found a pair of egg coddles in the cupboard of our new Paris apartment. I have never encountered such oddities before, but as they came with instructions, I will certainly be trying them out before long!

  13. very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
    Idetrorce


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