Return of the EggsNovember 7, 2007 at 10:48 am | Posted in food | 13 Comments
Tags: disgusting, eggs, experiment, fast food
Hey, so — speaking of the marginally edible, it’s about time I give you guys an update on those box eggs!
And let me start by saying, oh, the things I do for this blog. Not since the horror of Speed Rabbit Pizza have I sacrificed so much for the education and amusement of my readers. But now, on to the report:
According to the box, our pre-poached treats may be eaten hot or cold — if desired cold, simply pop them out of their handy plastic bubbles. I decided to try them hot, which meant dropping them — fully plastified — into simmering water for three minutes, and then removing the packaging.
Mmm… appetizing, no? I didn’t think so either, so I decided to give the eggs a little help: I whipped up a Mornay, threw in some leftover mushrooms, and toasted up some bread.
That’s the sauce, and those are the eggs, in all their shiny, dimpled glory.
To their credit, the eggs actually splodged quited satisfyingly, when broken into. I was impressed by the contrast between the firm white and the perfectly liquid yellow — well played, box eggs.
The actual eating experience, however, was a different story. The yolk was, in fact, a little too thin, a bit like slathering your food with yellow water. The white was unpleasantly gummy — think of chewing on a pencil eraser, but less satisfying and without the rubbery taste of nostalgia. Indeed, the whole ensemble was disconcertingly flavorless, almost as if created by someone who had seen poached eggs at some point, but never actually had one in his mouth. In fact, it strikes me as extremely unlikely that these unfortunate globs of protein ever resided inside a chicken.
The cheesy mushrooms, however, were quite nice. So… got any more revolting food-stuffs you’d like me to try?
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