Pizza à l’Américain, Part Ew

November 20, 2006 at 2:24 pm | Posted in food | 5 Comments

Anyone out there remember the pizza menu of horror? Well, that story just got a lot more horrific.

Brumaire, who has a far more adventurous palate than I, decided it wasn’t enough to simply laugh at the pizza descriptions. How parochial, how unscientific! What if these seemingly odd flavor combinations were, in fact, delightful? Wouldn’t I feel guilty for unfairly maligning them?

So the other day, he came home with not one, but both of the pizzas I had so presumptuously derided. And were they delicious?

New York, closer

Yeah. About as delicious as a kick in the nuts.
Bleurgh… I feel ill all over again just looking at this pic, in all its barbeque saucy, hamburgery, pickly glory.

Indiana pizza

That’s the Indiana: tomato, cheese, chicken, potato, and curry. Halfway through the experiment, Brumaire asked me which pizza I preferred. I just stared at him, mind boggling with the options: barbeque and pickles? tomato-cheese-curry? Even when I rephrased the question to: Which of these combinations makes me least want to hurl? I still couldn’t answer.

It was awful. Quite probably the worst pizza I have ever eaten (and I have eaten pizza in England). Or, as Brumaire so eloquently put it, “this pizza was rape.”



  1. I’m vomiting out my ass.

  2. Thanks for the image, Frabjous.

  3. saw this, thought of you:

  4. Thank you for yours, my donuty friend. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at pizza again.

  5. Jenny — It’s like my long lost twin.

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