Burger Madness

October 13, 2006 at 10:01 am | Posted in food | 12 Comments

Wandering idly through the grocery store yesterday, I spotted this:


I’d like to point out that this is an entire bacon cheeseburger, in a box, and at the bottom it says you can microwave this for 40 seconds, in its box, and it will come out soft and golden.

I don’t know. I mean, I’m no burger snob, but can this possibly be a good idea? This is making McDonalds look like gourmet food.

It reminds me of when I was living in Copenhagen, and spotted a jar of peanut butter in the grocery store. But it wasn’t some fancy imported jar of Jiff or Peter Pan — no, the Danes had taken it upon themselves to produce their own peanut butter. But they still had this idea that it’s an American product, so they decorated the jar with the most adorable icons of American culture. I believe there was a Statue of Liberty, something that resembled the Brooklyn Bridge, a Chevrolet, and a football player.

Sadly, I neglected to take a photo at the time, but happily, I’m not the only person on the web who was amused by this product. Small world.

All right, enough junk food. Let’s see what the French do best:


Camembert au lait cru, just starting to run. Hmm, maybe I’ll take an early lunch.



  1. See, crap like that is why the French think Americans have no taste. How many French people have eaten a real burger off the grill and not from McDo, Quick, or, God forbid, a microwaveable container?

    As for the “clacos,” you are making me very jealous.

  2. Alison –
    I know, I love seeing (and correcting) these little cultural misunderstandings. Also: don’t get me started on Quick. Bleeeeeh.

  3. By the way, has anyone checked out the “bacon” in that picture? Seriously disturbing.

  4. The last time I was in Canada my cousin made the most awesome burgers. Lean ground beef mixed with italian sausage (de”tubed”). And onions.

    To. Die. For.

  5. Looks like Candian bacon…

    They have heat and eat burgers in the U.S. too, in fact I do believe I could get one at the Sunoco down the street. Not sure I’d try one though.

  6. ah the camembert picture is killing me…now i gotta go out and make a runnycheese run

    donut did you ever read “stet” (i writ it that’s why i ask)

  7. Steve – seriously? I had no idea. It’s been a while since I bought dinner from a gas station shop, though.

  8. That is very wrong. WHYYY OH WHYY?!

    (I have to admit that I ate a lot of TV dinners as a kid, but they seemed more appealing than the burger-in-a-box.)

  9. Chapman –

    Wow, this is the second comment from a real-live author I’ve gotten in under a week! Exciting.

    Sorry to say I haven’t read your book yet, though. I found the excerpt a while ago while surfing http://www.fuguestatepress.com, and I thought the writing was very compelling, so I put it on my wishlist. But these days I’ve been trying to force myself to read French books.

    Do you think there’s any chance I could get it in France without paying ridiculous shipping?

  10. Robyn –

    I’ve always been a fan of frozen chicken pot pies, and I’ll admit I’ve even prepared a couple of frozen tartes and quiches since I got here. But burger in a box? There are limits.

  11. i’ll send ya one if you email yr address–
    (i had a burger in the st-germain des pres, and it was horsemeat! no, literally it was)

  12. Ha! The Danish peanutbutter is called “Nutz.” I would almost buy it for the name if it was sold here, but I’m brand-loyal to Jif.

    This all reminds me of the Icelandic restaurant “American Style” which serves burgers with thousand island dressing and cucumbers. I feel sorry for the Icelandic children who expect this sort of foolishness when they got to the US and find that there are no cucumbers or weird orange dressings anywhere near our burgers. (And oh yeah, our beef doesn’t taste like cardboard. There’s that too.)

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